It is funny how incredibly I feel tonight.

I have started to suspect, in the past dozen months, that men
- at least I -
go through a kind of period every month.
We all
- at least I -
know women do.
So why shouldn't men
although not in the same way.

I think that every month I go through at least two climaxes
at the two different ends of the same mood pole.
There is a point in every month where
I feel nothing will work out and my self-image and confidence is very low.
There is a point in every month where
I feel I can accomplish anything and everything will work out wonderfully and my confidence is blooming.
Could this have to do with a kind of hormonal period?
Could this have to do with the moon and the rising and falling of the tide?
Our bodies contain a lot of water
so does the ocean
why then should the moon not affect us too.

However, even though I am quite sure I experience both extremes every month
I have not been able to observe whether there is a clear pattern of how the extremes develop through the period.
For instance, there is a difference in my mood and confidence from only yesterday.

Today I am full of energy and positivity. I am all smiles and I see in the mirror the image of something that appeals to me. Something I can almost be proud of.
Of course, to be fair, at essence
- fundamentally -
I am proud of who and what I am.
And of what I shall become.

At the moment
I see
the adventure in life,
the prettiness of my surroundings
- the awareness of which much too often lies latent -,
and feel
love somewhere in the middle of me,
Now a moment later
I still see
a hope before me,
a playful element to every task
- to every confrontation -,
and feel
thankful and happy.

There is a song, that really encases what I feel
the whole mystery of it
- puts it in a box and ties on top a pretty bow -,
the heart of which seems to correspond to the heart of my current life-state,
as good music tends to do,
sonically and lyrically,

Hoppípolla by Sigur Rós.

Apologies to non-Icelandic but interested readers
as the lyrical part of the song will prove hard for them to grasp.
Just believe me
- have confidence -
and you'll feel it.

I am thankful for this song.
So wonderful.

Tingly,
..kH