I must admit that at this very moment, I have an urge to finish what I am doing.. and return home. Home being my native and wonderful land. This is not due to any troubles, or accidents.. it is just one of those things, I miss.. and I feel that I am missing out on something.

What contributes to this feeling is perhaps the isolation that I have started making for myself.. my diminishing joy of mindless nights out, my growing inspiration for my creative writing - which calls for isolation, a writer works in isolation.. and the slight feeling that I am seeing the same people every day. Do not get me wrong, the people I am with are great, and I love them.. but sometimes it dawns on me that because we are on this placement together, we are almost forced to spend all, or most, of our time together. Usually, when in your home environment, you experience total freedom in who you choose to spend time with. If it so happens that it is the same people, then that has been your choice. However, in our current circumstances, sometimes it is because we are stuck together that we are together.

I emphasize that I hold these people to be dear to me, and I have nothing against them, I fully enjoy their company, and respect them deeply.. it is only the slight feeling of enforced accompaniment that sometimes bothers me. However slight.

At the same time I know that I am doing what I should be doing. I am not missing out on anything too important. Not totally missing anything. And that, if I would have had the chance to go back home, I would have gone straight back into the hole that I have comfortably dug myself there. I would have settled. Between long intervals something important would have happened.. I would meet someone, hear something, read something, realize something, do something. In a nutshell, if I suffer for what I am doing, I know at the same time that it is important and that it will benefit me greatly in the long run, had I stayed at home progress would have introduced itself, but at a much slower pace.

Introspectively,
..kH