The perfect couple..

In a lively discussion with one of my best friends, yesterday as truth would have it, the issue of couples and successful relationships became one of the most interesting highlights of our flow. As this particular friend is one of the individuals in my life where our collective mental capacities reach beyond our everyday horizons, things about the world and life seem to become quite clear to us through our communication.

What makes a successful relationship? Three things immediately come up as definites; common ground, love, and effort.
Looks simple enough.. you'd think people would get to know each other on common ground (by sharing interests or environments, as an example), fall in love, and then naturally see that effort needs to be made to keep things going.
The above formula reaps success to a point, I am sure.. but something is too often amiss in the pretty picture, as many couples that have gone through each phase end up parting nevertheless.

Who says relationships need to go on forever?
I am not saying that they do, exactly.. but what bothers me is how easily good things end up not lasting. In the world of homosexual relationships, at least the world that I know, there are but a few examples of successful relationships. Far too few. FrIgHtEnInGlY few.. real scary stuff, actually.
But there are a few.. what differentiates them from the mass of other not-so-successful ones?
I can't really say, as.. obviously, I am not one of the victors - as of yet, mind you! - and maybe these successful couples don't even know themselves what it is that they are doing right..

However, the collective wisdom conjured up by my friend and myself, suggests that the three points (common ground, love and effort) are insufficient. They are important, but insufficient at the end of the day ..
Couples can get caught up in their own relationship, as easily as not holding things properly together. How fun, endless complications.. What do I mean exactly? Well .. if couples get too caught up in each other (the whole I only have eyes for you syndrome, and related mistakes), my wisdom suggests that they may well burn up.. the relationship stops being a creative phenomenon.
Being inwardly focused on the relationship is important, as it needs nurturing like anything else that lives in some way... but the world of the couple needs more than that. Creativity and value-creation .. in every sense of the conceptualisation .. is needed in these fields of human life, as it is needed in all human existence.

A couple that manages to inwardly work on the relationship, to be constructive in the private life, but also manages to combine their powers and elevate themselves over their individual limitations, and starts working constructively outwardly, may well be the ultimate couple.

Working constructively outwardly can mean a number of things. For instance - improving their environment, supporting others, supporting each other in creating value in their lives and for others, supporting each other in artistic endeavours, collectively working toward peace and prosperity and for the survival of the world and its inhabitants.
Does this sound outrageous?
My examples are merely examples.. creativity and value-creation takes on many forms.. a very common example is raising children. While raising children, couples combine their powers to nurture the child and collectively work for the child's health and happiness.. to do this properly they also need to have nurtured themselves within the relationship. The raising of children is statistically more common in heterosexual relationships, but it is something that very often keeps people together - and is only one form of outwardly constructive work.
But, the inward nurturing needs to be there as well as the outward value-creating work. It is all a necessary factor in the equation for success, my wisdom suggests.

[Common ground] + [Love] + [Effort = Inward constructive work + Outward constructive work] = The perfect couple..
Can it be .. ? Have I cracked it? .. Eureka! I think I may have.. however, I acknowledge my friend's wisdom as having had a lot to do with the results as presented..

I have heard a great example that somewhat describes this: A good relationship is not holding hands and staring endlessly into each other's eyes, it is holding hands and jointly looking forwards.

Enthusiastically,
..kH